TOPIC:

Let’s start with Peel. Fill the tank up and head 50k’s south. Start to get miffed like a left out Docker as you make your way down to Hicksville. Park across the road in the bush and you have a three minute walk to the line at the entrance. There will be a fair crowd as there isn’t much to do down these parts. To their credit the locals let you sit in their grandstand and the facilities are good. The view is not too bad. They like playing “Thunderstruck” by ACDC and that’s ok.
The crowd is generally pretty good and good natured. Except for that clown or should I say monkey that looks like MadDog who warms up the crowd with his chant “Let’s go Thunder oo oo”
Highlight: guaranteed win for your team if they are half decent
Lowlight: Travelling to Antarctica.

Today it’s Claremont. Bye bye archaic Claremont Oval and on to the showgrounds. I wasn’t expecting much and I didn’t get it. Pay $5.00 bucks at the gate to bring your car in. $5.00 bucks for what? Can someone find out please? They don’t want you parking on their grass but do it and hold your ground. What are they going to do about it? That way you can sit in it and watch (some of) the game and listen to your radio. Situated appropriately between Foul House Corner and the Laughing Clowns is their temporary paddock. Pray for good weather as you won’t be getting any cover at this construction site. High above the construction site appears to be where the members are. Sipping their Chardonnay, backs to the game as there is only bad news on the field, perhaps remembering the good times before East Perth took them unexpectantly (to them) to the woodshed in that final last year. That idiot that wears the Tiger’s head and sometimes a cowboy hat still attends, irritatingly calling out irrationally. If the paper publishes a crowd of 700 that means 200 were there. The place has an atmosphere akin to the cemetery across the road.

Lowlights: no cover, no atmosphere, no crowd
Highlight: visiting the hallowed ground once occupied by Chum “The Master” Taylor and Mighty Mick McKeon

Very funny Shiny, I look forward to your review of Bassendean

It's coming.

On to Lathlain Park . I remember coming here back in 1978 to see North Melbourne Vs Perth, 10,000 people turned up that scorching day. Cooooopa !!!! The place is still the same as back then. Easy access and plenty of parking for a gold coin donation. Good place all-round really, no complaints. Great ground for viewing, especially in the grandstand which they welcome opposition teams into. Expect some heat if you go into their bar though alongside the stand, other than that generally a happy place except for a couple of home town uninformed dickheads in the stand. Don't take the bait and stay happy. The Demons are no newcomers to getting beaten and seem to accept it quite readily. They realise the glory days are gone and find solace in dishing it to the umpires instead of the opposition. To their credit they don’t hit the exit early when all is lost.
I guess they are going “all in” with this Eagle’s Empire co-tenancy et al, so that might spell the kiss of doom for Basso when the merger comes. I’ll miss Lathlain in its present form when that happens.

Highlights: parking, no agro, easy beats.

Low light: they are handing this gem over to the Evil Empire.

South Fremantle Oval. Take a big bag of coins and hope you can get a spot at the car park a few minutes’ walk from the ground. If not, you are in the lap of the gods, try the cash consuming multi-storey up the road. Pray that you didn’t score a night game there. If you do, you will need the following: binoculars, a Lasik operation, a radio station that broadcasts the game and a miner’s helmet. I used to be able to sneak into the member’s but recently they have posted a guard there so you are dispatched to the stand in the forward pocket. From this position you will be able to see; the forward pocket. Appropriately the gaol is in the background and that is where the person who scheduled the night games should be put. Take a pillow to sit on the hard wooden benches. Football nostalgia at its best. The South Freo mob don’t take too kindly to losing and are prone to turn on their own, or in more recent times, blame their coach. Lots of grumpy old men in the stands. God knows how they are going to be when they have to share their nest with the East Freo mob. A brave move to put a lady in charge of the mid field. Good on her/them for having a go I say. All said and done we'll give these boys (and girl) a pass mark for their efforts.

Lowlights: low lights (night games), parking.

Highlight: Paella across the road if the going gets tough.

Your a legend Shiny.. Well thought out and bloody funny if it wasnt so true.
One mistake you put it on the BAR or should I call it OOS's FOOTY TIPPING PAGE.
Post early in the week and a lot might read it

Look forward to Joondalup.. Bloody long drive from Willagee and we have 3 home games comming up. Maybe the club could give us a discount voucher for fuel or something?
And to make it worse travelling up there has been painful this year with the league losing most
Thank god I go to the Ressies as well as they bring a smile to my face

The secret with Parry street carpark is to get there after the Colts game as a lot leave and there are a few parking spaces. This Sunday should be interesting with the Markets etc in full swing. Maybe the cold weather will keep them away?

Thank you Cardy, Arena Joondalup is up next. But be warned, it is not for the faint hearted.

ShinyDuck wrote: Thank you Cardy, Arena Joondalup is up next. But be warned, it is not for the faint hearted.

Its HBF Arena now mate.. Joondalup has been dropped.
Shit maybe I shouldnt of mentioned HBF you might use it

I suspect South Geraldton might get a mention. And leave The Screemar alone
Well maybe not... I sat in front of him one day and it only took 2 yells to get me out of there fast...

HBF Arena (Joondalup). Getting a friendly reception at this place is as likely as MH370 landing with 200 Nigerian schoolgirls on board. As you head up the freeway to this joint you just start clenching your fists and getting angry as you know what you are about to receive and pay $15 bucks for the privilege. They keep all the good parking bays for their mates … and some. They have a couple of guards there to make sure you don’t try anything. After your 10 minute walk from some far away park (free BTW unless the council lobs a ticket on you), you could be mistaken for thinking you were entering the Pentagon as a series of security staff will be there to check your bags. What are they checking for? Grog so they can protect their own bar sales? or weapons, wooden spoons etc that might be called upon when the locals attack? Shhhh … Grandma managed to sneak her thermos through but don’t tell anybody. If you hate your kids pick them up one of those $10 red and blue replica team T shirts so they can be beaten up at school on dress up day. A while back I was early enough to get a seat in their grandstand. All was going well until just before the main game when the ground manager accompanied by two Gestapo like security guards started evicting non- Falcon members. I left before my turn came but the sight of people being frog marched out accompanied by a send-off from the members, some well into their 70’s, “Get out of OUR grandstand” “go on, f… off out of here” left a bad taste in my mouth. This place has a high security presence. They must have a dozen security staff there. Are they expecting trouble or already had trouble and getting prepared for more?
The ground is in good nick and can be a reasonably happy day sitting on the grass or in the stand tucked in the corner. That is until that f..king moron starts annoyingly, gratingly screaming his f..king head off. You know what I’m talking about. Non affectionately known as “The Screemar” I don’t know who or where he is but Foul can fans can do us all a favour and introduce him to the practices of the late Dr Kevorkian. He goes to the away games too god curse him. I heard that idiot the other night at Patterson Stadium and I wasn’t even in Patterson’s Stadium I was in Belmont. The one eyed fans have got a strut like the game owes them something and are up for a fight/argument/stoush at the slightest provocation and there’s a stampede to the exits reminiscent of the one at an EGirls home game when the game appears lost.
God bless them all though where would we be without them
Highlight: Hmmm… it’s been sunny the days I’ve gone up there. Probably because we are so close to the friggin’ equator!
Passionate (be it uninformed) fans and there are plenty of them to create an atmosphere.
Getting to see Kraks play.. hmm … no wait a minute … I’ll have to go to Jubilee Reserve for that!!
Lowlight: The moron, the gestapo, the attitude.