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a letter from a disgruntled carrrlllton supporter 8 years 3 months ago #7102

  • Grump
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Dear Carlton Football Club,

For the past 100 years we've had a rich history of salary cap breaching,
hush money, underworld ties, tanking, poaching players, draft tampering,
owning Arden Street, VISY, corporate corruption, & brown paper bags. We
have the biggest trophy cabinet in the league and decades of constant
success driven by a win-at-all-costs mentality while showing utter
disregard for all AFL rules. As a passionate supporter I have fully
embraced our culture and I am extremely proud of what it had allowed us to

So when I heard about this systematic doping scandal I expected that as a
powerhouse club we would be at the absolute forefront of this science. That
we would have set up our own underground drug labs and the world’s best
sport scientists concocting all sorts of performance enhancing recipes
in-house that no-one had ever heard of - anabolic leg injections to make
Armfield kick straight, peptide pills that would cure Aaron Joseph's utter
shi*ness and some sort of animal DNA mutation therapy to remove McLean's
turtle-like qualities. We'd probably even be conducting illegal human
testing on Norf's second tier playing list as a part of our ownership of
their club.

But no, we are in the middle of the biggest cheating scandal in AFL history
and Carlton is not even one little bit involved. Not a single mention, not
even a hint of a mention. In fact the only drugs administered at the
Carlton Football Club over the past few years are botox injections by Bryce
Gibbs' beautician.

There may be loser clubs like the saints & Bulldogs who would be happy to
accept decades of mediocrity while playing within AFL rules - but not
Carlton supporters. The fact that undetectable performance-enhancing drugs
exists and we are not fully exploiting them to our advantage is an utter
disgrace. It goes against the fabric and principles that this very club was
built on.

You have changed Carlton. You have lost the very identity that made you a
huge success and the envy of 15 other clubs. Get back to your roots, cheat
your hearts out and start ordering a few more shelves for our club's trophy

Kind Regards,

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