TOPIC:

Thornlie (C1) 0.0 0.0 0.0 12.11 (83)
Coolbinia West Perth (C1) 0.0 0.0 0.0 10.12 (72)

Wanneroo (C1) 0.0 0.0 0.0 18.13 (121)
Kingsway (C1) 0.0 0.0 0.0 11.10 (76)

Lynwood Ferndale (C1) 0.0 0.0 0.0 11.11 (77)
Ocean Ridge (C1) 0.0 0.0 0.0 10.6 (66)

Kelmscott (C1) 0.0 0.0 0.0 14.11 (95)
Gosnells (C1) 0.0 0.0 0.0 10.8 (68)

Melville (C1) 0.0 0.0 0.0 17.15 (117)
Kingsley (C1) 0.0 0.0 0.0 12.7 (79)

What it could look like and apologies for any errors.
POS- TEAM - P - W - L - D - For - Agst - % - PTS
1 Wanneroo (C1) 6 6 0 0 651 361 180.33 24
2 Kelmscott (C1) 6 5 1 0 581 350 166 20
3 Kingsway (C1) 6 4 2 0 523 421 124.22 16
4 Gosnells (C1) 6 3 3 0 600 545 110.09 12
5 Lynwood Ferndale (C1) 6 3 3 0 496 462 107.35 12
6 Melville (C1) 6 3 3 0 513 489 104.9 12
7 Coolbinia West Perth (C1) 6 3 3 0 483 535 90.28 12
8 Ocean Ridge (C1) 6 2 4 0 440 467 94.21 8
9 Thornlie (C1) 6 1 5 0 324 669 48.43 4
10 Kingsley (C1) 6 0 6 0 344 656 52.43 0

Ridge seem to be struggling this year. What has changed from last season fellas?

Wanneroo whooooooing along very nicely. Obvously seems to be a very tight comp with only Thornlie and Kingsley considered weak teams. Going to be a a lot of teams fighting for finals come the pointy end of the season!!

Look forward to seeing the write ups from this weekends games. Especially from Mr Mysterious..... I hear there was a few dummy spits at the Wanneroo v Kingsway game.....

Thankyou for the beautiful segway Soprano. You are correct in saying that there were a few dummy spits and toys flying out of the pram and some wooooing. From me and the players but more on that later. I did indeed head down to The Showgrounds on Saturday. Not because I had to, but because I wanted to. I knew it was ladies day and I didn't want to disappoint the women by not attending. Sadly Mr Mysterious playing days may be over, but he does know how to draw a crowd. I'm still suffering from leather poisoning I received the last time I played. Enough about me though lets get stuck into the games.

From what I saw of the colts game I thought it was average. I think Wanneroo were probably lucky to be even that close. #19 from Kingsway probably kicked about 6 goals and had a hand in the other 5. Id say a league game would be around the corner for him. Other than that, not much to say, a lot of work is required for Wanneroo. Kingsway won by 3 goals I think.

I decided to venture to the canteen early this game. (On a side note, how good is it playing at a ground where the canteen and changerooms and bar are all within 20 metres of each other brilliant)Thankyou to the hard working staff of the WAFC canteen, your hot chips and salad roll really hit the spot.

On to the reserves game. Quite an even contest, Wanneroo played poorly in patches but still managed a win, which is a good thing. By now though, all the ladies had packed into the stands and were getting ready for the roos to play some good football. Mr Mysterious was offering potential Mrs Mysterious' bottles of champagne for little cost in the hope to something. Yet it retuned donuts.

The Wanneroo players ran out looking a little brighter than usual. Wearing Pink jumpers for a great cause. The match started well with Wanneroo kicking the first 3 goals of the game. Kingsway fought back however and were leading at the qrt time break. The second qrt was much the same with It going goal for goal.

A few incidents durung the quarter led to a little melee at half time right infront of the crowd, much to the womens delight. A few players for wither side whinging about it a few heated words were exchanged and they headed off.

It was again time for Mr Mysterious to chat up the local ladies. One lady thought she recognised Mr Mysterious, after telling her it was probably from the latest CLEO centrefold, her and her friends agreed that's must have been where it was from and Mr M, proceeded to share a bottle of Rosé at half time.

Both teams came out firing at half time and injected some passion into the contest. This leads us to yellow card number 1. (due to privacy laws I will not name players only numbers) #9 from Kingsway received a yellow card, probably lucky not to get a red. Not happy with the decision he threw his toys out of the pram so to speak as he headed to the boundary line, where he then took his anger out on the water bottles. #8 from Wanneroo received a yellow card for an incident later on, also probably lucky to not get red. No dummy spits from him though. Wanneroo gained some momentum out of the earlier incidents and were leading by 4 goals at 3qrt time.

Kingsway started the 4th qrt strongly and it looked like it was going to be a good game, however Wanneroo fought back and it was still a 4 goal margin at the 10 minute mark. Cue incident number 3. #17 got a yellow for his troubles and terrible facial hair. He strutted from the ground like he was Dermy or Buddy. After exchanging a few choice words with a young colts player at the front of the stands he sat down and spent the rest of the game on the pine. Later in the quarter things boiled over again. Right near the Kingsway bench, and who was involved, #9 from Kingsway. He was again yellow carded, this time more theatrics as he went to the bench. More water bottles were thrown and he received the ole "Na NA NA NA, NA NA NA NA, HEY HEY HEY GOODBYE" from he Wanneroo faithful.
The matched finished with Wanneroo kicking a few more goals running out 7 goals winners. There didn't seem to be to much after the siren as both teams walked off happily. Wannerwoooooo are now 6-0 and sit atop the C1 ladder.

Great day had by all. Thanks to all those ladies who attend a great day for a worthwhile cause. Thanks to all those who gave me there numbers, ill call you all shortly. Thanks to Kingsway always love a big crowd at the football.

Love to hear from the other games. Thanks for reading my post, until next time I'm Mr Mysterious and I'm the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be.

Great write up
That bloke looked like he had a dag hanging of his chin(sheep shit)
I hope I'm playing next time so I can give him some friendly words of advice!

Round 6: Kingsley vs Melville

First write up guys... be gentle

Reserves
Melville ressies where looking to get their season back on track after a disaponiting loss to Gosnels. Melville dominated the first half but strugglled to put it on the scoreboard with a few very easy misses. Definsivly the rams were strong owing much to the timley return of the big ROOOOOTZA fresh from doing a iron man competition, managing to keep Kingsley goal less for most of the first half.
Kingsley did manage to get their first goal thanks to an umpiring decision for delibrately rushing a behind, wasn't sure if that was a rule for amateurs or did it just come in this year?
Anyways Melville ended up running out comfortable winners in the end by about 10 goals.

League
Kinsley have been struggling this year I'm told due to a mass exodus from their club following the resignation of their previous coach. Melville has started slowly, but after a promising win against Gosnells last week went into the match warm favorites.
Q1
Melville started the better getting the first few goals, but then struggled to convert. Kingsley were far more efficient going forward owing much to their Dead Eye Dick full forward, who I think ended up with 7 or 8 for the day. Heard a rumour that he was playing ressies the previous week, can someone confirm?
Kingsley up by a goal
Q2
The rams midfeild started to get on top, thanks to some very handy ruck work from the golden gloves champ wearing #4. However once again poor conversion proved costly and after dominating the qtr only had a small lead to show.
Melville by 2 goals
Q3
Finally the rams started to convert, thanks to some handy work form the little man in the helmet. The match started to become a bit heated with an incendent over the far side resulting in a card and a report for a Kingsley player, wasn't much in it.
At the end of the qtr Kinsleys full forward finally missed one, however the goal umpire must have stopped watching when he was kicking for goal as she decided to give it the all clear. Common sense finally prevailed as the field umpire overturned it (not the first time this particular umpire has made such a clear error, seriously its not that hard a job is it?).
Melville by 6 goals
Q4
Kingsley started the last qtr well kicking the first couple of goals and the game started to look like it was going down to the wire. Half way through the qtr a small dust up in the middle of the ground basically decended into an all in brawl, no punches thrown just plenty of wrestling. Well done to the umpires for throwing the ball up straight away, and not giving out any cards. This may have been just what the rams needed to kick them back into gear as they kicked the next handful of goals and sealed the game.
Melville by 6 goals.

Rams are 3-3 and eying off a win against OR next week which may put them in the top 5 for the first time this year.
Kingsway are 0-6 and looking like they have an uphill battle to avoid going down in straight sets.

C1 grade seems to be shaping up to be a beauty.

Seems as though the top 6 or so teams could all be vying out for the final 5 by years end.

To be honest I was really expecting Melville after last year to come out and be much further ahead than were they are currently. Also did not expect Wanneroo to be 6-0 at this stage, they are shaping up as the one to beat with no team really coming near them as of yet.

Kelmscott also seem to be bringing the goods, by there results so far I would say they have different numbers available week to week, which could haught them at the end of the season.

Kingsway need to start playing as a team and not a bunch of individuals and I can seem them getting deep into the finals if they figure this out.

Biggest surprise of the League to me is Gossie's just cruising under the radar, seems that they had a strong finish to the season in C2 last year and are bringing that form on this year. There game with Wanneroo in the coming weeks are sure to see were abouts they really are.

QB

this old falcon wasn't able to make the trip down to thornlie this week and by the sounds of it only missed 3 cwp sides capitulating to thornlie at the lions den. i havnt heard too much except that the league side were insipid and would have been lucky to beat an under 11's side (taking nothing away from thornlie who showed a lot of character fight and class to get their first win of the season).

i wish i had the answers to this sudden form lapse from coolbinia who seem determined to be uncompetitive against old sunday league sides, but this old falcon hope that something will change before this weekend otherwise wanneroo may only have to turn up to get the win at the falcons nest.

the rest of the comp is tight and big raps to both gossies and lynwood who have not looked out of place in C1 this year.

a few questions for anyone who thinks they can answer it

1. what has happened down at onion ridge this season? have they lost players or just lost interest?

2. are kingsway a genuine top 2 side in this comp? (i am yet to see their form but earlier they seemed unstoppable)

4. where has the panda gone?

falconed wrote: this old falcon wasn't able to make the trip down to thornlie this week and by the sounds of it only missed 3 cwp sides capitulating to thornlie at the lions den. i havnt heard too much except that the league side were insipid and would have been lucky to beat an under 11's side (taking nothing away from thornlie who showed a lot of character fight and class to get their first win of the season).

i wish i had the answers to this sudden form lapse from coolbinia who seem determined to be uncompetitive against old sunday league sides, but this old falcon hope that something will change before this weekend otherwise wanneroo may only have to turn up to get the win at the falcons nest.

the rest of the comp is tight and big raps to both gossies and lynwood who have not looked out of place in C1 this year.

a few questions for anyone who thinks they can answer it

1. what has happened down at onion ridge this season? have they lost players or just lost interest?

2. are kingsway a genuine top 2 side in this comp? (i am yet to see their form but earlier they seemed unstoppable)

4. where has the panda gone?

I have a question for you falconed Where is question number 3.

Also how are you going with numbers for colts this season given you did not have a team last season?

Good Evening Gentleman. So a quick question, how many of you jerk offs have been refreshing this page in the hope it would flash up with a post from the single most entertaining poster in Footygoss/Ozfooty history??? My mate Mysterious is really trying to impress with his posts but its fair to say he is running a very distant second in the popularity stakes in this one...... Fortunately for Captain Mysterious, there is hope on the horizon. With the Peoples Panda set to make his next appearance in Round 10 at Rams Stadium against the Roo Boys, the day is gaurenteed to be a cracker but it gets better as the Rams Ladies day has been set for this date so the balcony will be over flowing with women dressed as female pandas and i will be putting on a live sex show in the bar upstairs after the League matchup. In an attempt to break the Guiness World Record of most beers (21) during a sexual encounter, i will have Mr M handing me stubbies while i plow a lady of my choice. The Rams are expecting a crowd of around 96,000 so get your tickets early.



Now for Saturdays antics......

The King of Bears arrived at Rams stadium at 11am to find himself the only one there. Very odd feeling really. Anyway, after getting a quick gobby of Mrs. Panda in the car in front of the skate bowl while being watched by 3 narly skaters who were no where near 18 yrs of age i slid into the top bar for a PGP (pre game poo). As far as PGP's go this one was devine. Sliding out barley leaving a mark. In fact i wiped but there was nothing there. This gave me the feeling i was going to be super slick out on the park later that day.
So, with the main event being shown in the early game this week the crowd filed in the turn styles like Grand Final day at the G and the game got under way. The Rams cost themselves throughout the entire game, missing shot after shot and kicking around 19 or 20 behinds. Fair to say this bear was a good contributor to the behinds tally, very gracefully kicking 2 goals 5 behinds for the afternoon. It was good getting back on the park for a trot having only touched a footy on one occassion since last years finals series. The King has that fire in the belly again and is seriously considering chucking in this job in the next month or so to return to the field for one last crack at it. Only problem is i need another new set of boots as i wore the leather of the top of my brand new pair on the weekend......
The reserves ran out comfortable winners by 10 or 11 goals.

After sitting in the rooms with a few of the boys and knocking off the standard carton we made our way up stairs to watch the last three quarters of the League game. It was a fairly dour affair with the Rams getting a decent break and holding it there for most of the day. Kingsley never really looked like challenging but the Rams were fairly lazy and never really got out of 3rd gear. That was left to the crowd on the balcony who were knocking back Cougar cans at record pace. It was nice to see a Dermott Brereton lookalike supporting the Cats. She had a perm straight from the 89 grand final and was quite vocal.

Things heated up later in the night!!!! Tequilla, burboun and a spot of drink driving saw us attacking females on the dance floor of the hip-e club.....I managed to lure the drunkest bird in the bar out to the car park for some backseat action. Lucky we had the work car and the windows were manual roll down. While the bear powered away from behind, this classy young lady hung her head out the window and vomited 1000's of litres of booze on the ground outside. Good times had by all but you blokes know the rules.....Dont tell Mrs Panda



Sunday Funday saw a road trip to Northam to watch a few mates play against Neon Leon Davis' mob Railways. After drinking them out of White Cans we purchased a carton of Candian Club Stubbies and drank booze all the way home smashing the stubbies on signs at every opportunity. Drivers side over the top of the car hitting a sign is how this Panda rolls!!!!

I love my life.......



PANDA OUT