{xtypo_dropcap}J{/xtypo_dropcap}ohn Watts (or John K. Watts, as he is better known) is one of football's great entertainers, who turned a guest spot on a Geelong Football Club show broadcast by a Victorian country radio station into a lifelong profession. He became one of Perth's most sought after comedians, worked with and wrote lines for the celebrities, such as Bob Hope, and at one time co hosted a radio programme that was listened to on a daily basis by more than half  the population.

Ozfooty can now reveal that it wasn't always all fun and games behind the public face of John Watts.

When the East Perth and State fullback was being courted by three Victorian clubs, he had been diagnosed with cancer. A melanoma that had been removed from his shoulder had been diagnosed as malignant by East Perth Football Club doctor Mick Lekias. After discussions with the doctor, who gave no guarantees, Watts decided to take the plunge, and for several seasons would tape a stainless steel patch on the back of his neck before the game, in case he received a whack there, or word got out and his shoulder became a target. He was eventually to suffer with cancer of the prostate.

Born over the road from Perth Oval, at Nurse Harvey's Hospital in Bulwer Street, John Watts attended Maylands Primary School and went on to play juniors with Bayswater, along with future East Perth and State team mate,  Kevin McGill. At sixteen, both played in the combined Maylands-Bayswater Association team, coached by long time Swan Districts official, Stan Moses, and were headed for Bassendean Oval, only to be told they were too young, a comment that was matched a couple of decades later by the record executive who rejected the Beatles because they felt guitar music had run it's race.

East Perth were quick to sign the pair, who both became stars of the game. After playing a few reserves matches, Watts debuted for the Royals on a half back flank against Subiaco at the age of seventeen in 1954. With regular full back Arthur Young firmly entrenched,  John stayed in the side as a half back flanker for the next two seasons, before becoming  custodian  in 1956. He took over from South Fremantle's Ray Richards as State full back the same year, playing the first of twelve games for Western Australia.

John  told of one State game he played in, against Victoria. “They beat us by twenty nine goals.  They were twenty nine twenty nine late in the game, when the ball sailed through for another point.  I was out on the flank as the goal ump reached for his flags, with the ball lying on the turf behind him. I shouted out to him: “Hey, ump, how about getting the pill for me, I'm buggered.”

“Stuff the ball, how about giving me a hand with these *#@# flags, my bloody arms are dropping off,” came the reply.  

A solidly built six foot three and fourteen stone, Watts was a solid marking player, with anticipation a feature of his game. His resolute defensive play was complemented by long and accurate kicking. Watts's value to his club didn't end at the final siren, however, with many a tale to be told of his off field capers. He was the life of the club, and was voted best club man wherever he played. His eventual career in the entertainment industry surprised none of his team mates. 

Watts played in six grand finals in a stellar career with East Perth, winning three. After the 1962 season, he received good offers from St Kilda, Essendon, and Geelong, a phone call from his mate “Polly” Farmer convincing him to join the champion ruckman at the Cats. The decision was vindicated when he starred in the grand final against  worthy opponents in Hawthorn, holding back the Hawks attacking thrusts with ten marks, including Mark of the Day.

When Hobart contacted Watts with a lucrative offer after the 1965 season, he was to set himself up for life with his acceptance.

In his swansong three seasons as a player, John Watts completed the rare feat of playing in three premiership sides in three States when Hobart won the flag under his coaching, with  Watts also winning an outstanding player award for the club.  It was also to further his career in radio and television, which had started at Geelong, and set the foundation for the celebrity he would become in Perth. Watts also bought his first hotel in Hobart, and that interest would be expanded in Western Australia.

Watts played two representative intraleague games in Tasmania, and was selected for that State in the 1966 Hobart Carnival, but injury prevented him from playing.

John retired from football in 1968 and returned home to Western Australia. While still involved in the game as a compere and promoter of shows, many of them for charity, it was the entertainment world that beckoned him, with radio and television taking up much of his time, culminating in the award winning breakfast show with Barry Martin.

He has always been more than willing to assist clubs in tributes and fundraising events, and his compering skills are a guarantee that whatever event is planned will be a success. A little known fact is that John Watts wrote the East Perth, Swan Districts, and Geelong club theme songs.

Watts is a life member of the Royals, as well as a member of East Perth's “Legends”, a Simpson Medallist for his efforts in the 1959 State game against Tasmania, plus an inductee at the Western Australian Football Hall Of Fame. He was also named full back for the official East Perth Team of the Century 1945-2005.

Yet things might have been different if someone had been able to point out the culprit in a highly dangerous episode in the East Perth changerooms before Watts's career had even got under way.

The three “younguns” (Watts, Seal, and McGill) had been sent off from training early by coach Mick Cronin. “We had our showers and instead of turning off the gas I inadvertantly only put out the flame,” Watts recalled. “ The rest rolled in and headed straight to the showers, which were stone cold. Mick said,”hang on, I'll fix this,” and proceeded to strike a match.

“The whole of Perth Oval shook, the few hairs on Mick's body got singed, and he assumed a Nat King Cole complexion. Cronin never found out who was responsible, otherwise I'm sure I wouldn't have been around much longer.”

Watts regards South Fremantle high flier John Gerovich as the best he played on, and Farmer the best he played with.

These days he is still doing stand up comedy  as well as compering shows. He remains a keen East Perth and Geelong follower, attending matches and re unions at both clubs. John also finds the time to  do some travelling with wife, Lorraine, especially to Geneva, where a son has lived for twenty years.

John Watts has been a well known figure in West Australian football and entertainment for fifty five years, bringing much light heartedness to a game that often takes itself too seriously. It's worth remembering that prior to the comedian there was a very good footballer, one of Western Australia's best full backs, and a player held in high esteem in Victoria and Tasmania.